Bored. Lazy. me.

I'm soooo lazy, lazy's my middle name.

That makes me Karthini Lazy Owen.

Wish my middle name was Sleeps With.

Love the song.. as lovelyly unrealistic as it is.....

.. which then again is probably the reason why I love it.

MCFLY LYRICS

"All About You"

[Danny:]
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you, baby
([Tom:] It's all about you)
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you

[Tom:]
Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew.
So I told you with a smile 'It's all about you'
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to,
Say 'If you make my life worthwhile, it's all
about you'

[Danny:]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked
me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know
what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you
used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you.
Yeah...

[Solo]

[Danny & Tom:]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked
me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know
what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you
used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles,
Yes you make my life worthwhile,
So I told you with a smile...
It's all about you.

[Danny:]
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you, baby
([Tom:] It's all about you)
It's all about you
([Tom:] It's about you)
It's all about you

Not bad, not bad at all..

History. 2.17 p.m.
Under normal circumstances, I would be snoring at 117 decibels and drooling all over my table.. but, this time there was no more f*#^ing Tamadun Islam, nor was there time spent with my head buried in my book, trying desperately to memorise every bloody word on every single page in the book..

Instead,when we were jotting down notes, my History teacher had sneakily sneaked past me to the back of the class and started shouting his head off like an Michael Owen fan who had caught a glimpse of him, flipping chairs and shoving tables out of his way before he got his hands on a stunned boy and started shaking the hell out of the him for no apparent reason.

What the?

Before I could run out of the class screaming and flailing my hands in the air, he stopped. He turned to us and sheepishly grinned, asking us all to write down what had just happened in the past minute. Besides explaining how history can be biased sometimes as everyone sees things from different perspectives, he earned my utmost respect. Just for keeping me from yawning every alternate minute during a History period.

He is also my Economics teacher.. Yippee!! All my dead boring 'you're nuts to be taking' subjects were covered.

Spanish class was mui bien. Chemistry was a small class of 7.. good for studying, I guess. Maths wasn't fun but it was okay, (Even Owen Wilson can't make maths fun for me, although he would help keep my eyes open..)

And that leaves English.

Got this teacher who is slightly bi*chy..Well, actually very.. He has a bunch of rules.. If you send in your homework late on the same day, -10% of ur credit, if you hand it in the next day, -20%, the next and its -50%, and after that, do yourself a favour and throw your work into the bin.. where it belongs..

He says stuff like "I like morbidity." Okay, that didn't sound the way it deserved.. but when he said it he had the whole thing going for him, the slight toss of his head, the sort of "Challenge me" look in his eyes with just the slightest raise of his left eyebrow..

*karthini has dreamy look in her eyes*

He's constantly making witty little remarks..never fails to make me smirk..(and that itself is an accomplishment few can claim to..) Come to think about it, he's hot in his own way, speaks intelligently (one of the few men) but when it comes down to it, he's still a bi*&h.. But hey, I still think he's real amusing. So, he's good.. or maybe I'm just optimistic..

All in all, school's been different. Real different. And change isn't always a bad thing. Unless your best friends are leaving to study far far away. That's bad change.And I've had more than my fair share of bad changes.

So thank you, God.

First day in school..

Wednesday, 10th August..
School today. I get dressed, I mean whatever.. It was going to be fine.. wasn't nervous at all.. I mean I am 17 years old..

Who am I kidding?! I was like dreading this day for so long.. After a lovely holiday spent doing nothing, absolutely nothing at all (one of the few things I am truly talented at..)I was sentenced to continue my studies.. at an International School!! Okay, for those of you who don't know what that means.. It means if you aren't wearing earrings.. or they're tinier than a fist.. (Shalini's fist anyway..)and your clothes don't match.. I mean seriously, that shade of blue soooo doesn't go with your hair! and OH. MY. GOD. I wouldn't ever be caught dead looking like that, gurlfren! or if you happen to like making funny faces for no reason..(just my luck..) *drumroll* you're doomed to the nerdy loser group forever...

The teachers and students are friendly enough.. but I keep blowing it by saying stuff like for example "I dunnoLA.. How can you guys TAHAN this.." Yeah, its may sound right to you and me.. but to them, I might as well be speaking French.. actually some of them know French.. make that Malay..

And to top it off, I had like my 5 day monthly thingee that day..you know what I'm refering to, gurlfren.. and like hello, it was the 1st day!! ( gosh, their whole lingo is contagious..I gotta go now.. search. for. Clorox. to wash mouth. )

Thus, the equation is
1st day of period + blues + d f*&^ing haze + 1st day in school= bad and ugly me..

P.s. I hereby announce that on the 10th of August I start accepting roses and words of comfort to make me feel better.. and if you're really nice and want to earn your way into my good books for one whole WEEK (lucky you) heck,go out of your way and get me a box of chocolates..or two..

A dream..

I think I should remind you that it was all a dream and that things out of the ordinary often happen in dreams.. and another thing- most of what happened I only 'knew' or 'realised' when I was partly through the dream.

It all started with me lying down on my queen sized bed, nice and comfortable.. I think it was in the late evening and I was chatting with a girlfriend, when we suddenly realised that there was someone else there.. listening in.. we both looked up and saw a ghostly image of a girl around our age (would have loved to describe her in detail but all I seemed to remember was that she was pretty.. not like the typical Japanese long haired, white skin, big eyed ghosts with the menacing 'I am bad and scary' look) sitting on top of my row of apple-green cupboards.

Surprisingly, we were calm and even greeted her casually as if she was a friend of ours. Then I realised -actually it was more as if I had known all along- that my elder brother had passed away (only in the dream, touch wood). I was mourning and questioning why God had taken him instead of me.. he was intelligent and good-looking and polite and helped my parents without throwing up a fuss (as opposed to a 'does well in school only if she studies like mad, quite okay looking with a blunt nose, rude and only helps if guilty' girl like me..) I was distressed and felt it more than unfair that he wasn't spared.

I continued my crying and cursing monologue when the ghost interupted saying that I could save him, that there was still a chance.

Next thing I knew was I was walking alongside my elder brother, he seemed so real, alive I remember thinking, we were walking down a deserted road near my house and it was dark. We stopped under a lamp post and started talking. He was telling me how he would give anything to be given a second chance to live again.. anything, saying how he missed all of us, wishing that he was alive. He wanted to be successful,to be one of most accomplished around, saying that he could, he knew that he could, but he can't. I said I want to help, but how.. I apologised..

I felt so guilty, as if his death was my fault, knowing very well that it wasn't, yet feeling that I should have taken his place.

I hugged him.

I hugged him and knew what I could do to help him. It was only now I 'remembered' what the ghost girl had said, that all I needed to say was ' I wish I was in your place instead of mine' and then PRESTO- he would wake up alive and me dead. I thought of all my friends, I thought of my family, of a certain someone and was about to say it when ..

He whispered under his breath "If you really want to help me, say 'I wish I was in your place instead of mine'" I looked up at him. He wanted life so desperately that he was willing to 'cheat' his own sister out of hers.. (I use the word cheat as he doesn't know that I know that if I said the words I was giving him my life)

Even after he said those selfish (I realise now, but then all I seemed to think was how desperately he needed to live) words, I realised I loved him.

These few minutes seemed to last forever, I felt that I had thought it over so many times, I was so sure, almost too sure that what I were to do was right. Not that I hated my life, it was okay.. I actually kinda liked it. But what i had to do was crystal clear.

Knowing fully well what I said and its impact, as if I saw things so clearly at the time, I said it. There. The light from the lamp post started flickering.. Then I felt weak and tired, drowsy and in a weird way, peaceful.

Everything went black.


p.s. I have yet to figure out the 'meaning' of this dream..after all it seems so symbolic.. if u have the faintest idea, please feel free to 'enlighten' me..